Friday, August 6, 2010

My last words

In the spirit of the last post, let's write our own Famous Author Last Words:

"I... was a robot the whole time..."

"My only regret... is everything."

"I apologize for what I am about to do."

"Mario will get me out of this."

"From this angle my breasts look tremendous."

"Just one pound short of my goal: ten thousand pounds of bacon."

"I can't believe I'm going to die inside a cake."

"Let X equal my newfound religion. Let this random number generator's output equal X. Let each number correspond to a major and reputable system of belief. Godspeed, random number generator. Godspeed."


Will add more in the comments as I think of them.


  1. "Keep the phone connected."

    "Demons! Angels! Stop this war!"

    "Did you order my costume?"

    "Then go ahead and KILL me."

    "Let not the light descend upon our labors here. Carry me forward--to the top of the Alps, and nary a pit stop make."


    "Where's Mike?" :(


  2. "I can't believe it ate both my legs at once."

    "Burn everything."

    "Just kind of...roll me off this thing."

    "Fetch forth a leathersmith."

    "Upload my consciousness into that swarm of nanobots."

    "Pack up my corpse and send it with an SASE to the Paris Review."

  3. "And now for something completely different!"