Today's insane Black Friday deals

For twenty-five dollars, we will write a post on the subject of your choosing.

For one hundred dollars, we will write a story wherein you get the girl.

For five hundred dollars, we will send you everything we publish forever.

For one thousand dollars and the cost of airfare, we will come to your home and speak deeply with you on matters of art, peace, and love.

For one million dollars, we will devote a year of our lives to your happiness.

For one hundred million dollars, we will bear the burden of wealth.