Saturday, March 19, 2011

Gatorade: Lime & Cucumber Reviewed

Living in New Mexico, you get a fair number of special versions of things featuring lime and chili powder. Lime because it is the most popular fruit in Mexico, and chili powder because it is the most popular powdered chili in Mexico. We have lime-flavored hot Cheetos, for instance, which are pretty awesome, though they also taste suspiciously like Fruit Loops. 

Today at the grocery store Tracy and I discovered a Gatorade that declares itself proudly as lime and cucumber-flavored. The packaging tells us that this abomination is called "Limon Pepino" in Spanish. Honestly I didn't know cucumber had a flavor, and I definitely don't know how it's going to translate to the medium of Gatorade. I am now going to liveblog/review/liviewblogre my first bottle of lime-cucumber Gato-Rade. "Rehidrata, repone, y reactiva para mantener tu desempreno cuando mas lo necesitas."

11:15:12: I am now opening the bottle.

11:22:17: I have now opened the bottle.

11:22:22: It smells exactly like ten cucumbers. This is incredible.

11:22:33: I'm bringing it to my mouth, now. I'm going to ingest some of this beverage.

11:22:35: It only tastes like one cucumber, if the cucumber was dipped in lime juice for a few seconds and then dissolved in water over a period of months. And then they poured some lemon Kool-Aid in.

11:23:47: It's kind of salty. Like brine, except if the brine came in the form of a powder like that dehydrated lemonade stuff, and then you stirred water into it and there's your brine, all liquidy.

11:25:02.0008910003: I do feel pretty refreshed, however. I'm going to eat a cucumber with salt whenever I'm thirsty from now on.

12:05:57: So like the enduring mystery of this thing is why they made it smell so much more like cucumber than it actually tastes. The flavor is, once you accept that you're tasting cucumber, pretty much fine. But the smell is extremely off-putting. It makes me not want to drink what I objectively know will be an okay drink. This is a mistake.

Looking forward to cucumber Doritos, though.
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32 comments:

  1. carrie murphyMarch 19, 2011 at 1:12 AM

    i laughed a lot at this.

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  2. AnonymousMarch 21, 2011 at 1:08 AM

    im pretty gay for this gatorade. Im pretty gay for you too

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  3. AnonymousMarch 21, 2011 at 1:11 AM

    I'm not really sure what a pepino is, but i think theres one in my pants. A really tiny pepino. In fact, if i showed you a picture of it, you wouldn't be able to tell if it was a penis, or a burnt french fry from McDonalds

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  4. AnonymousApril 12, 2011 at 9:23 PM

    i guess yall only know cucumbers in salad not with salt and lime try going to the flea market and eat a cup of this stuff then youll understand

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  5. Curious New MexicanMay 1, 2011 at 5:49 AM

    Whereabouts in New Mexico do you live? And exactly where did you get this?

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  6. AnonymousMay 6, 2011 at 12:07 AM

    I know youd like to feel special but they have lime flavored stuff everywhere not just in New Mexico

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  7. AnonymousMay 15, 2011 at 11:06 AM

    I recently tried it and brought back memories...when I was a little boy my mom would cut up cucumbers and add lemon and chili powder to them. When I would finish the cucumbers I would drink the lemon ...and this gatorade tasted the same!!! Real good!!! They also have a watermelon citrus one.oh and I live in Phx, Arizona. So im pretty sure New Mexico isn't the only place you can find them.

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  8. AnonymousMay 16, 2011 at 10:53 AM

    I bought one on Friday and i cant stop drinking it. i love it.

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  9. AnonymousMay 18, 2011 at 5:01 PM

    I think it is awesome I love it
    Sandy from Las Vegas

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  10. AnonymousJune 9, 2011 at 3:57 PM

    I bought some yesterday, my sister and I tasted it, i love it :D

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  11. xavier69June 23, 2011 at 1:39 PM

    My nephews are really picky with fruit and vegetables and only like soda. After having them taste this new drink. They love it and that's all they want to drink. I love it too.

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  12. AnonymousJuly 2, 2011 at 3:39 AM

    I tink y'all er gaey! My baby fatder wants to try dis out but Wes to pour to by tit! If y'all cud let my baby fatder no were to geght tit that would meen alot!! Also if one of y'all cud spear a cuple buks to by dis tat wud b good tu:) tanks

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  13. AnonymousJuly 6, 2011 at 6:47 PM

    I tried this new gatorade and it taste fuckin incredible. Its so delicious I am hooked on it.

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  14. AnonymousJuly 23, 2011 at 8:48 PM

    Wtf No Body Cares What Time You Open It !

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  15. AnonymousJuly 25, 2011 at 9:27 PM

    hahaha seriously....

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  16. suckerpunchAugust 1, 2011 at 8:19 PM

    i did not read the label beyond Lime upon drinking...big ass mistake!

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  17. AnonymousAugust 20, 2011 at 4:51 AM

    Add tequila and crushed ice. You now have the perfect summer beverage.

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  18. AnonymousAugust 23, 2011 at 12:25 AM

    I bought some yesterday it was fantastic. If you ever had a cucumber Collins on a hot day then you would enjoy this drink but without the gin.

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  19. EricaAugust 26, 2011 at 9:00 AM

    where do u find it at?

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  20. DukeSeptember 14, 2011 at 12:07 PM

    I'm in Dallas, Tx and this drink is readily available everywhere, tastes great.. BTW New Mexico sucks. Too many low down dirty Mexicans. Not the good hardworking kind like in Texas.

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    Replies
    1. AnonymousOctober 26, 2013 at 1:21 AM

      I've lived in Dallas 6 years, Albuquerque 5 years, and many other places, and NM by far has a lot less bigoted assholes than Dallas. And the food is better. And, by the way, Tex-Mex sucks, New Mex is tasty.

      Delete
  21. AnonymousSeptember 14, 2011 at 5:20 PM

    I think in a new post I'd love to hear how chocolate with peanuts is better than chocolate with hazelnuts and how Hershey makes the best tasting chocolate in the world. As to Gatorade - forget the flavors, google a little about the history of it and you will see it's a scam like many others. It's not what hydrates you best, it's all about the marketing and peoples' flavor preferences. Ah yes - in case you didn't catch my drift - the lime-cucumber Gatorade is the best tasting water + sugar I've ever tasted.

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  22. AnonymousOctober 13, 2011 at 7:02 PM

    how come it takes 7 minutes to open the bottle alone?

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  23. AnonymousOctober 26, 2011 at 2:38 PM

    I was pretty upset when what I thought was my regular lime gatorade tasted/smelled like a mermaid's vagina.

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  24. AnonymousNovember 30, 2011 at 8:15 AM

    THIS IS OBVIOUSLY THE BEST GATORADE EVER INVENTED YOU IGNORANT GIRING GO GET A LIFE AND STOP BEING RACIST TOT HE MEXIKANZ THAT MADE THIS LAND YOU LIVE ON NUFF SAID.

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  25. AnonymousDecember 18, 2011 at 1:02 AM

    Who drinks liquified cucumber ? that's what it taste like . oh right mexicans in flea markets. go to a flea market and you'll see plenty of pepinos walking around. no muchas gracias , i like my gatorade in red yellow and orange .

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    Replies
    1. AnonymousMay 15, 2012 at 3:31 PM

      SO HELP YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!! IDIOT

      Delete
  26. galllyJuly 10, 2012 at 3:05 PM

    Hmmm... March 2011? Oo

    I live in south Texas and have never noticed this flavor before. I saw it this past weekend at a HEB grocery store. My initial reaction was "wtf" and I'm not sure if it was out of surprise or being grossed out. Out of curiosity I decided to buy it. As soon as you open it the smell is overwhelmingly cucumber. I was afraid to taste it but it's surprisingly pleasant. It's weird but the taste grows on you. This would be perfect with some crushed mint leaves, sugar or simple syrup and rum. MUST BUY MORE.


    PS. I love flamin hot limon cheetos.

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  27. UnknownJuly 28, 2012 at 2:29 PM

    I bought this drink because it was on sale. As I was walking out of the store I opened the bottle, and took a sip. After drinking a sip I immediately thought to myself "Ok, I'm never doing this again!" and found the nearest trash can and put it where it belonged. Worst thing to ever be made to make people think it's a beverage!

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  28. AnonymousJuly 30, 2012 at 10:43 PM

    Why did it take 7 minutes to open the bottle hahahahaha?

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  29. AnonymousJuly 13, 2015 at 9:55 PM

    Once I open the bottle I got to drink it all bomb ass shit on a hot Bakersfield day...

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  30. AnonymousApril 22, 2024 at 8:55 PM

    Tastes like ass, poured it out immediately.

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