Friday, April 1, 2011

Friday Gummy Bulletin

Yesterday Sarah bought me a bag of white chocolate-covered gummy bears. If you're thinking, That sounds disgusting, you're right! But if you're thinking, I bet they taste delicious, you're also right!

I decided to research gummy bears for this blog but was quickly disappointed by a lack of arcane and fascinating knowledge. The most controversial or curious thing about gummy bears, at least online, seems to be their geleatin base, which renders them untouchable by vegetarians and vaguely disgusting to people like me.

These white-chocolate gummy bears are either lemon or apple inside; I'm not sure because the country's two top gummy bear manufacturers utilize different flavoring schemes. Haribo goes with raspberry red, whereas Trolli favors cherry (and makes, I think, the more defensible choice).

When I was in undergrad a rumor persisted in my apartment that a licked gummy bear would stick indefinitely to a firm surface. As far as we could determine, this is true.

A rumor persists online that if you soak a gummy bear in water overnight you will come to it in the morning and find a distended, faded monstrosity stretching to climb from its bowl. If you search the internet for photos of this phenomenon at work you will images of pregnant women, ultrasounds, cleavage, cats, and a variety of woodland creatures all climbing out of a man's mouth at once.

I ate between 13 and 20 white chocolate-covered gummy bears while writing this post.


  1. I used to put gummy bears in a cold glass of water overnight at camp, to show the kids. Fun party trick what happens.

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