Wednesday, November 16, 2011

These Are My Funnies #7, 8, 9

#7 (55 seconds): A tree frog and a cockroach drive a homemade truck over the uneven terrain of the rain forest floor. “This is amazing,” the cockroach says. “The construction was simple,” the tree frog says. “Sap, fallen leaves. The dark thing is I used some bones in the finer gears.” “Bones.” “Not from frogs,” the tree frog says. “Or cockroaches. Do you even have bones?” “I don’t know,” the cockroach says. “Do you feel like you have bones?” “This kind of talk weirds me out,” the cockroach says. “Well, what I was saying is, the really hard part was getting a license. Do you know what they put you through? Just the scheduling, getting to the shop, or the agency or whatever, then waiting. I had to take a morning off from work.” “That’s why I’ll never drive,” the cockroach says.

#8 (80 seconds): A woman stands in the dark of a late-night kitchen. She’s doing something, but we can’t see what. Greenish light, probably from the clock on a microwave, colors her eyes. Far back in the room, something shifts. Another woman says, “Get away from that cake batter.” She waits a moment, then hefts something heavy and metallic. “Get away from that cake batter!”

#9 (20 seconds): An elephant in a smoking jacket pours bourbon from a decanter, then carries it across the expanse of his den. Snow tacks against the windows but a warm light fills the room and a fire crackles somewhere close. The elephant drops into his favorite chair, splintering it, and carries on through the floor, through the basement. We hear the crushing of wine bottles, of an old bicycle. He breaks through the floor here and is suddenly in space, falling through darkness, a little speck growing littler as he is carried farther and farther from everything he knows.


  1. These are fantastic. The last one caught me off guard with its beauty.

  2. Thanks, Lauri! I'm glad you liked that elephant.