Tuesday, November 8, 2011

These Are My Funnies #4, 5, 6

#4 (80 seconds): A couple lies quietly in bed. Moonlight blues the sheets and their faces. The man says, “What if we brought home another man.” “Like for sex?” the woman says. “For whatever you wanted,” the man says. “I don’t know,” she says. “Would he watch us or--” “Whatever you wanted,” the man says. “I think it could be a healthy thing for us.” “Healthy how?” “Just experimental, you know. Healthy in that we would like, be open to new experiences.” “Who would we find?” “I’ve found someone,” the man says. “He’s been lying beneath the bed.” “What?” the woman says. “On the dirty clothes under there,” the man says. A few clumsy knocks sound from beneath the bed, then the shuffling of someone sliding out.

#5 (25 seconds): We hear water splashing before we see it. A woman in a swimming cap digs at water with her arms, and we can tell that she is both very experienced and very tired. We pan out to see that she is alone in choppy sea. There is no land or boat or other swimmer in sight. The sky is dark on the horizon. She paddles on, growing sloppy with exhaustion. Her eyes narrow. She is focused on something in the distance. “I’ll hollow your head!” she yells, suddenly. “You fuck!” She swallows water, spits it out, swallows more, falters, regains her balance in the water.

#6 (60 seconds): A cat rubs against a woman’s ankles, meowing for food. The woman, dressed for work but still partially asleep, retrieves a bag of cat food from an overhead cabinet. She pours the food into the cat’s bowl without bending down. At first, nuggets bounce out and skitter over the floor, then are buried, then spill out to carpet the surrounding area. As the cat food forms a spreading, landsliding mound, the cat struggles to stay on top, moving, then stopping to eat, then moving, then stopping to eat. Food obscures the woman’s feet, then knees, then hips. The cat finds a stable spot and eats and eats, then vomits.

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