Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Words With Friends Sucks

It was fun for a while, right? But then the novelty wore off. Now you're stuck with tons of games and all these little notifications popping up so you feel like you should keep playing, but you're totally just doing the easiest move you can because this is boring now and you just want to get it over with without being rude.

I feel weird playing against the "lit" type of people in my life, because I feel like it's a silent-yet-deadly battle to see who can come up with the awesomest words. And I feel weird playing against the non "lit" people in my life, because they know I'm a writer and they're probably like Why the hell isn't this girl better at Words With Friends? But honestly, I feel like Words With Friends is way more about spatial reasoning and I suck at spatial reasoning. My boyfriend kills me every single time we play and it's because he has a math brain. I once played a 106 point word against him and he still won.

I let my mom win like five times and then she legit beat me like five times. The most random people I went to high school with keep playing me, and actually utilizing the little chat box, which is another level of awkward. No, I don't want to catch up on the last nine (holy shit, it's NINE now?!?!) years while we're playing a pseudo Scrabble game through Facebook. No, thanks.

And the app keeps breaking my phone when I use it, and the Facebook version keeps making me reauthorize it. It also keeps wanting to publish my moves/scores even though I have never ONCE clicked yes in regards to that option, because I don't find want to bombard all my social media people with those little blue, yellow and red announcements. I'm just trying to be polite, and Words With Friends is making my online social life about FIFTY BAJILLION times harder, what with the etiquette of notifications, of reminders, or what caliber of word to play against who, of how fast to play a move, when to say good word or damn you or ewwww I have all vowels.

At first I was like Hell yeah Alec Baldwin! Fight the power with Words With Friends! but I'm disillusioned now. It's not with friends, it's with Facebook friends, and we all know what kind of friends those are. It's not friendly, it's oppressive! Down with Words With Friends!

(But Scrabble itself can stay. Because I'm staring you down over the board, about to play QUINCE for a triple word score.)


  1. I always feel embarrassed as someone who majored in English but still stinks at Words with Friends. What's worse, my German friend regularly beats me by 100 points, and English is his 2nd language.

    I'm gonna go ahead and say it's the spacial reasoning thing..

  2. I don’t know about spacial reasoning, but vocabulary wasn’t my challenge. It was extracting words in that jumble of tiles. Unscrambling anagrams is what really helped me. Then I got more and more hooked on creating anagrams, as my blog will attest. BTW, [Finds Weird Throws] is an anagram for Words With Friends.