Tuesday, December 13, 2011

A Review Of Juicy Oozers


Juicy Oozers are a gummy candy made by Black Forest (what a good website eh?).  According to the results of a google image search, they come in a variety of flavors and styles (can candy have a 'style'?  what is the word I'm thinking of here?) such as sour skulls, sharks or insects (I am here reviewing the Insect variety).  Because of this blog's obsession with gummy candy (see gummies! gummies! and gummies! ) I decided that our audience and my fellow bloggers needed to know about this variation of the sort.

Initially I was hoping for Gushers (waaay better website huh?) or something even close, but was prepared for something terrible.  Something that would feel weird in my mouth, taste strange or familiarly gross, or a combination of all three. 

Texture

Upon first nibble, the "ooz" isn't immediately differentiated from the gummy part of the candy.  There is no gratifying "pop" or disturbing dribble of liquid goo.  It's very tame.  It's kind of like the opposite of fruit in your jello.  A softer spot in an already soft nugget.

Flavor

Red:  medicine-y; like cherry cough syrup

Pink:  creamy; like lifesavers cream

Green:  just like green gummy bears 

Yellow:  like a tartness that's simultaneously overwhelmed by sweetness

Overall

They're a terrible disappointment.  I was hoping for an epic adventure for my mouth but I ended up with a walk through the "shady" part of Portland (which, surprise!  doesn't exist).  My favorite is the Yellow though, because you can see the green goo inside of it and that makes it easier to pretend I'm eating a real bug and sucking its guts out through a hole in its detached abdomen.  

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